Robin Hood and Babes in the Wood

Advent is the season of expectant waiting and those of us who had waited for the latest assault on the finest traditions of European theatre by the St. Mary’s Players should have known what to expect.

Despite their receiving the first ever collective ASBO for ruthless rib-tickling and funny-bone finding the merry miscreants were back without shame at the Church Hall for a production optimistically entitled “Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood”.

Members of the audience expecting to see a fine morality tale of fiscal stimulus injected into the banking sector by targeted taxation of the wealthy and redistribution to those in greatest need were unsatisfied. One young man who imagined that the Babes in the Wood was a “Nuts” photo shoot may also have regretted his attendance upon an autumn eve but the hordes who thronged to the Greenford Avenue in anticipation of brilliant sets, superb if slightly over the top acting, exquisite singing and Derek Stoddart’s legs deserved everything they got and were not disappointed.Now the central character of this production was the mediaeval equivalent of the modern rogues who parcel up collateralised debt obligations and rely on an unwitting citizenry to keep the money flowing. Although many believe the Sheriff of Nottingham to be a much misunderstood public servant Derek Stoddart decided to go all out for the Alan Rickman version and he slithered over the stage with menace and a serpentine grace unseen until Peter Mandelson rejoined the Cabinet.

Unsurprisingly the Sheriff’s costume allowed an appreciative audience a good view of the Great Legs of Manor Court Road and theatrical history was made again when the legs received more applause than did Derek when he first appeared.

The Sheriff was accompanied by two supporters ( apart from the aforementioned limbs) – Robbit and Coppit – who were played by those magnificent Hanwellian thespians Tony Rumble and Jenny Foxwell. In the traditional roles of the Brokers Men they exuded menace and unthinking loyalty in a style familiar to those who have made acquaintance of the Government Whips’ Office.

To realise that the pulchritudinous Maid Marian was none other than young Christine Whitestone was a considerable shock to many in the cheap seats but she wore her beauty lightly and played the part to perfection.

Rosie and Tom were the innocents in the forest and I kept mishearing their names as Rosie and Jim so was surprised to see not two rag dolls on a mocked up longboat but two people of genuine theatrical talent whose plight roused one and all to their defence – and damned even deeper the reputation of Derek the Sheriff. Katherine White and Edward Simmons may have played children but they did so as experienced actors.

The role of Robin Hood is one to make the heart beat quicker in any manly breast and to cause the blood to flow faster through even the most sclerotic veins.

I will confess – and frequently do – that I had harboured a vision of La Belle Smith in this part and matters of state had fallen from concentration as my mind wandered through the wardrobe usually worn by the most principled of Principal Boys.

Was I disappointed by the gallant cross dresser Sarah Bailey? Resoundingly came the answer:no! A part that requires an element of gender bending and frequent switches from bold braggadocio to blushing ingénue cannot be easy but Sarah Bailey managed wonderfully and we look to see more of her in future productions.

The Sherwood Massive of Messieurs Tuck, John and Scarlett were played with an almost ravenous enthusiasm by Christopher Smith, David Whitestone and Kim Rumble.

Were ever three finer actors gathered together? The answer is probably yes but not on this occasion.

Kim exuded sylvan mischief as the Scarlett Lady and Christopher Smith brought an air of infallibility to the role of the good Friar Tuck but the man who put the Ham in Hamlet, David Whitestone, exceeded even his Frankensteinian portrayal of last year. Appropriately for one who lives in Grove Avenue his performance was possibly more thicket than covert but at least he didn’t revisit the copse of previous productions.

Just when we thought that we had been delighted too much came the shimmering beauty of the Fairy of the Forest – Sarah Stoddart.

Scattering fairy dust al about her she dazzled the eye and delighted the appreciative audience as only she can.

A figure appeared in a tabard with a strange device and revealed himself to be not an England soccer fan on tour but King Richard as played by Alan Browne. At last, we thought, a character of gravitas and solemnity but Alan played the King with a merry twinkle and some nifty sword play that was a revelation to those of us who usually see him in evening dress.

One character has yet to be mentioned.

Before even beginning to describe the assault on the senses that was Gareth Bevan as Nanny Nellie Nora it was necessary for me to lie down in a darkened room for some time. Try as I may I cannot banish from the memory that extraordinary performance that was so over the top that it almost escaped Earth’s gravity.

Gareth was clearly comfortable in frills and furbelows but the sheer delight that he took in this anarchic role reveals dark shades to his psyche. Frankly this was pantomime at its very finest, which is to say that it was rude, vulgar, suggestive, innuendo laden and just magnificent.

Hitting this reviewer in the eye with a hard toffee has dimmed the eyesight but not the level of admiration and a world without nanny is dull indeed.

The highpoints of the production were the two musical ensemble numbers and all credit to the cast and to those who had the unenviable task of driving a cartload of monkeys in a straight line – musical director Susan Powrie, Choreographer (and who better ?) Linda Smith, and the person who must ultimately face his Maker and atone for this mayhem – the Director; Malcolm Smith.

“I love being vile” was a stand out number that featured Derek Stoddart at his supremely slippery best and “Gorgeous” could have been extended by an hour or two and no-one would have minded. Both were just brilliant.

When this lot are called to account they should no seek to conceal the role played by Katie Bedborough, Madeleine Morris, Zoë Murnaghan and Miranda Simmons. Villagers, schoolchildren, ghosts and animals they may have been on the night but stars they will ever be in the memories of those who saw them.

Alison Mules somehow got them all into costume (not hard in Gareth’s case, I fear) and respect should be shown to the teccies – Malcolm Smith and Nick Reeve – who illuminated the stage if not the senses.

Moira Rayner was unembarrassed by her offspring on this occasion and refreshed us well as did the suave, sophisticated front of house team of Alan Browne, Mark Cosstick and Geoff Mules.

Sue and Mark Cosstick were the only ones who could be trusted with the takings and they surrendered their passports and ran the Box Office to perfection while Steve Douglas, John Foxwell and various other people on community service designed and constructed a series of excellent sets.

Assistant Director Christine Secombe must live with her conscience as must the producer of this extravaganza – Mary Jane Bailey.

Advent in its original name of parousia has a dual meaning of looking back to the Birth and forward to the Coming. Dualities abounded at St.Mary’s Church Hall but for an Advent Adventure this was hard to beat and I strongly advise the discerning theatregoer to book early for the next production.

But surely they couldn’t do it again. Could they?